Monday, September 3, 2007
EMO~~
Dear Readers,As usual.. did not update the blog much. Could be cause i Lazy, dunno what to blog about and cause got assignments which are suffocating me..!! haha..
Yea.. EMO bookstores.. well.. this was found in sunway, just next to Sunway College. probably people who come here are very EMO.. cause previously i went to this show to enquire about a book, the shopkeeper so rude.. hehe... Maybe he also EMO..~Therefore i conclude that people who work in EMO bookstores or come to EMO are very EMO..~ haha...!!
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Anyways.. the following text will sound very Emo. So if you do not want to read anythin Emo please stop now..~~
Well, looks like you have chosen to read this. Probably cause you are bored and have nothing much to do so you want to spend time reading me blog Emo~ly.
For the past few days, I have came to find that I am feeling really Emo.... well.. for those who see me during Uni or outside, I may not show this side but.. seriously.. There is something bugging me. This feeling is somehow both suffering and enjoyable. well but I could not feel relaxed the past few days. What am I feeling actually? Is this even normal? how can I be both suffering and enjoying it at the same time? Isn't this rather contradicting? What could this possibly be? Sh!t, my mind can be considered at its most stressful state. Can't stop thinking about stuff.... Well mind you.. not those "stuff" but rather things that I have ignored my whole life. Can't really list them down cause these issues are stuck in my head and whenever i wanna type it out or say it out, nothing seems to come out.
Feels like I am having some kind of mental problem.. well.. not because I am crazy!! But then again who is to judge who is and who is not crazy? Maybe I am crazy..! I have tried ALMOST everything I know. I tried to sleep so I would rest my mind and stop thinking too much but somehow the feeling still appears when I sleep and when I wake up. Maybe is me or maybe my imagination has run too wild.
The stories I have encountered, it makes me feel as if I am living in my very own story. How am I to know if I am doing the right thing? Is what I am doing making my 'life story' run in the direction it is supposed to be? Feels like there is a halt in my story. Even thought the clock keeps on ticking, I feel like I am stuck at where I am. Not being able to move forward or in any other direction. Do I have a 'story' in the first place? This 'life story', is it destiny or am I supposed to walk build my own fate? Am I even capable of building my own life in the first place?
All these weird thinking appears to me. Seems to me that I can't even find a solution. There is no one to talk to. This is because everyone seems to have their own problems and they would not be able to listen to mine. Another question comes to mind, can I really trust them? Do I really want to trust them? It seems like there is no one I can trust. Am I really alone? Life seems fine at the moment. Just my mind has always been playing tricks on me.
What can I do? Firstly, what was I feeling? Sick? Stressed? Lonely? Maybe even all of those. Come to think of it, the obstacles placed in my direction are something new. My studies I feel completely lost. Time seems to fly by very fast.
>,<" well.. this emoticon is the most used one whenever I am online using MSN. Somehow, I feel exactly the same way as the emoticon. Frustrated. Frustrated over everything I have done and everything that appears in front of me. Is it possible to change? If I change my personality or character, is it a wise choice? Is it even possible?
Looks like I will never know for sure.
~Please let my decisions be right~
Sorry for the EMO~NESS
~MK~
3:34 AM
